Day Thirteen

I'm so tired.

Yes, I think that about sums it up. Elijah was up from 10 pm until 1 am last night. We're both exhausted and now I'm fighting off some sort of illness. It might be partially allergy related, but I think I'm just so run down that I feel quite out of sorts. Imagine, therefore, how Elijah feels. He's the one who is working a full-time job after all…

This morning, we tried HBOT again and everything went well. We dove at a lower pressure (1.3 ATA) with no added oxygen (room air) just to be safe. I went in with him, but I wasn't able to complete the dive. We were taking it slowly because I am feeling a bit under the weather, but my ear started to hurt. I guess I'm more congested than I realized. So, I got out of the chamber and Elijah's soon-to-be-auntie Karen (who is here helping me this week) was able to take her first "trip" in the chamber with Elijah instead. They did well in there. Elijah didn't nap and didn't do any startles.

Today I tried to nap while Elijah was doing his physical therapy. Elijah's PT suggested that I go lay on a couch in one of their unoccupied therapy rooms and I took her up on the offer. I didn't really feel like I got any sleep, but at least I was resting. I don't think I would've been able to remain upright all day today.

I honestly have no idea how Elijah is still functioning. We come home from therapy and he still wants to play. This evening, he walked to the door, looked out the window and started crying, flapping his arms, and walking around in frustration, as if to say, "I want to go outside and no one will take me!" So, we went outside. He's such a fun little boy – wanting to play outside, just as any child would. Today he also got caught playing in the dog's water dish. It was so funny. He disappeared from my sight for a moment and I found him casually sitting by the water dish, happily splashing in the water with his hands. It's such age appropriate, typical behavior and it makes me smile.

Anyway, we've decided to take the next two days off from physical therapy to allow Elijah (and me) to get some extra rest. I just don't think working him so hard is good for him right now. He's grumpy and not very cooperative in therapy, which obviously means he's not gaining much from it right now (the poor kid only had 7.5 hours of sleep last night!). It's possible he's not feeling so well either, because I'm not showing many outward signs that I'm not feeling well - except the deeper voice I've acquired and um, I don't know if Elijah's voice is any deeper. :) I feel like we're doing too much and need to slow down. We'll get a four day weekend and then we'll start back up next week. We've extended our stay a few more days, but my mommy gut says that the both of us need a little break.

Sometimes it's so hard to know what to do for your child. Yes, this whole experience is draining and hard, but I am so glad that we are here. I have such an urge to be back home, to be able to have our little family all together again, so it's hard to make this experience take even longer. But I know that we need this four-day break even if it extends our stay a bit. I keep going over the startles in my mind and the more I think about it, the more I think that they're not seizures, but rather a result of him being uncomfortable and exhausted. My hope is that I'm right.

We will be meeting with the hyperbaric doctor tomorrow to have him check out Elijah and may do one dive tomorrow if the doc thinks it's okay. Otherwise, I plan on spending the day sleeping – well, sleeping as much as Elijah will allow.

Good night everyone. Thank you so much for the support and prayers. Even though I'm not feeling so well and I'm exhausted I feel like I am being carried by something stronger than myself. Usually if I were this exhausted, I'd be incapacitated – I'm sure I am being sustained by your prayers (and Elijah is as well). Thanks for reading.

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