Sunday, August 14, 2016

Halfway to Adulthood


Elijah is nine today.* NINE!**

*Apparently I only write blog posts on Elijah's birthday.

**No, I am not shouting no at you in German. Although, I kind of want to. NEIN!

Nine is halfway to adulthood, you guys. We do this one more time and then BAM, Elijah is a full grown man. I'm not ready for halfway to adulthood. And, yet, here we are.

So perhaps it's fitting that his age is no in another language. No, no, no. Nein, nein, nein. Don't grow up just yet. Stay little just a bit longer. 

"He's halfway to adulthood," I said to Andy earlier this week and about lost my mind. It's hard to think of adulthood and all that it entails. Applying for guardianship. Elijah's size and him being bigger than me. And there I go, getting ahead of myself.

Perhaps that's what's so hard about Elijah's birthday. It's this place in-between the past and the future. It's the memory of the day we almost lost him. Past. It's the thought of what is to come. Future. This is the day he was hurt and altered. Past. Every year that passes puts him further behind his peers. Future.

Elijah's birthday is a reminder to live in the present. In the today. I don't want to remember the bad times, the NICU, the seizures. I don't want to worry about the future. I want to live in today. A lesson that's valuable and important on every day. Today is what matters. Today we were surrounded by family who love Elijah and his brothers and parents. Today we have a nine-year-old who is alive and well. Who loves life. Who has the most infectious smile. Who isn't defined by his past or his future. He's just Elijah. And he's awesome.

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We love you, little (ahem, BIG) dude. Can't wait to see what your next year of living in the present will bring. You, my boy, are a study in living in the present. We could learn a thing or two from you. xoxo, Mom

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Oh, hey, God's Word says something about it, too...
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. -Isaiah 43:18
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. -Matthew 6:34

Friday, August 14, 2015

Dear Elijah,

You're kind of awesome. But, you already know that.

You've had a raw deal, my little dude. Starting out life with a significant brain injury is a rough place to start. The thing is, though, you've got this thing. Slow and steady wins the race, they say. And you, my boy, just keep on keeping on.

I've never met someone as persistent as you, Elijah. It's both awesome (because you keep going) and terrible (because redirecting you is tough). But, really, never giving up is probably the best thing about you. You don't take no as an answer (that one's tough on your mama and dada), but your determination is inspiring (even if it means you're determined to climb on the dining room table).

You had your parents all to yourself for a long time, didn't you? And then we brought some other little creatures into your life. Just like any big brother, you find your little brothers annoying and obnoxious. But, you love them indeed, don't you? They give you someone to pick on and something more entertaining to watch than your boring parents. Right? You do love them, my boy. They'll be the ones who look out for you and simultaneously drive you crazy... it's just the nature of siblings.
I'm always amazed at how your moods affect me. It's impossible to be sad when you're happy. And it's impossible to be happy when you're sad. Your joy is so infectious. Well, except for this one exception: when you laugh maniacally over breaking something or pushing a brother. Thats just mean, dude.

That smile, though. You probably have the best smile in the entire world.
If only I could live in your body for just one day. I ache to know what it would be like to be you. You experience life differently, that's for sure.

You are the only one who is you and that's pretty incredible.

We love you Elijah James, our sweet little Ligee-Lou.

You're pretty awesome. I'm quite certain you already know that. Just don't let it go to your head, okay?

Love you,
Mommy

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