Wanting to Take Our Miracle Man Home

I want to go home! We’re so sick of being in a hospital that I think it’s starting to drive me crazy. I know this is where Elijah needs to be, but it’s difficult to “live” in a hospital. We try to be with our little man as much as we possibly can, but have to remember to take care of ourselves too. Sometimes that’s hard. Tonight when we left, Elijah was fast asleep. Just as we were walking out the door, he made a little noise and so I had to rush back to him to see if he was waking up or if something was wrong. He was still sleeping, but it’s hard for me to think of him not having me there to take care of him. I know he is in good hands, but nothing is quite as good as his parents. I pray that when we are gone, God holds Elijah in His arms and that makes me feel a lot better. I know Elijah is never really alone because God is looking after him.

Elijah and I were able to breastfeed successfully three times today, so we keep making progress every day. We’re getting a lot better at it and I’m sure that we will only continue to get better. I was actually able to wake him up for two feedings in a row and I was incredibly surprised that he was able to be stirred. Every day it seems like it gets easier for us to wake him up. That’s great, because the more we can wake him up, the more he’ll be able to eat (and the sooner we can go home!).

The concern any mother has when breastfeeding is if their child is getting fed enough. Last night when they weighed Elijah, he had lost a teeny tiny amount of weight. I’m hoping he won’t lose any more weight tonight because then they won’t think he’s getting enough from our breastfeeding. From my recollection, though, most babies do lose a little bit of weight after they’re born and then it takes awhile to get up to their birth weight. Well, Elijah has already gained over a pound and is now over ten pounds. Of course I don’t want my baby to starve, but he’s a big, strong, healthy baby and I’m sure he’d be fine if he lost a little bit of weight while we figure out our breastfeeding rhythm.

Thankfully, it does seem like they’re trying to prepare us to go home. The nurse today was asking us if we knew about SIDS, shaken baby syndrome, etc. She said she had to check them off of her chart. I’m assuming they have to talk to you about those things before you can go home. I’m trying not to predict when it’s going to be, but it’s hard not to. I ache to take him home. Seeing how he is making such rapid progress, I don’t feel like it will be that much longer. Earlier this week when I talked to the lactation consultant, she said next week would be the best case scenario. Now I’m thinking it might happen. We just need to eat by nursing or bottle for a 24 hour period and we can take him home. Like I said yesterday, that’s easier said than done. I had no idea getting him to eat would be this difficult. It’s easier to be patient when I remind myself that not too long ago we didn’t even know if he’d be able to breathe, gag, suck, swallow, or cry. It’s amazing the progress he’s made in a short amount of time. It’s obvious that anyone who has worked with him for any amount of time is shocked by what he is doing. The doctor who was there the night Elijah came to Children’s is obviously impressed with his progress. She told Andy today, “I keep saying he’s making my day, but he’s making my week!” It’s not until I hear comments like this that I understand how little they expected from Elijah. I know that he will continue to amaze everyone because of the power of prayer. I know that God can and will continue to heal him.

Please keep praying for us. We need prayers for him to continue waking up more to eat and that he will gain weight from breastfeeding. Pray that we’ll be able to get him to breastfeed for all of his feedings soon. Also please continue to pray that he’ll be able to regulate him temp. He had a bath this morning and seemed a bit cold for a few hours after. I don’t think that is too odd, but it seems like he is always a bit on the cooler side. Kangaroo care really warms him up, so we try to do that as much as possible. He is a good little man and he keeps getting better. He seems so much older to me than he is. He’s been through more than I have in my entire life and I feel like he’s wise beyond his years. Continue to pray for a complete recovery. He is a miracle from God and we sure do love him. Thank you to all of you who read this journal every day. Thanks for thinking of us, praying for us, and giving us encouragement via the guestbook. I wish we could comment back to all of you individually, but please know that we read the comments often and they give us so much comfort and encouragement.

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