Aching to Hear Elijah Cry

I never thought I would long to hear my son cry, but here I am, hoping and praying every day that he’ll scream and tell us how mad he is about the rough start he has had. And yet, I almost cry if he makes any face that indicates that he is unhappy. It’s not that he hasn’t vocalized at all. He does make some noise and he has definitely gotten upset. He looks like he is crying, but he doesn’t make the sound. When I was still pregnant, Andy and I checked out a video from the library called Dunston Baby Language. It helps you distinguish what different cries mean so you can tell if they are hungry, uncomfortable, etc. I want to be able to communicate with him more than anything.

We bought Elijah a mobile today and put in on his crib. He really seems to like it. He was watching it go around and seemed to get kind of excited about it. We posted a video of him watching it. It’s so great to see him getting some stimulation…I’m sure it’s good for his little brain.

Elijah didn’t seem to be as awake today as he was yesterday, which is a bit frustrating. He was probably awake for a total of four hours (if even that) and yesterday it was maybe six hours. Even when I say that he was awake for that long, I’m probably stretching it a bit since he drifts in and out of sleep. It’s so hard to deal with his sleepiness. I know newborns sleep a lot, but when he is in a deep sleep we simply cannot wake him up. Of course, this complicates things with his feedings. The good news is that we did better than we did yesterday. It seems that each time we try, things go a little better than the time before. What more can I ask for? Progress is progress. Things are complicated by the fact that he gets fed through his feeding tube every three hours. They’re feeding him a lot and that’s great, but I wonder if he even really feels hunger. What’s the point of working for your dinner if you can just get it for free in a tube that fills up your tummy? He does well; he just seems to lose interest after a little bit. We haven’t even been trying this for very long, but I find myself getting frustrated because we want to take him home so badly. I know that every day we get closer.

Please pray for him to communicate with us by crying and to be more awake at the right times to eat. Also continue to pray that he’ll be able to keep his temp up and his oxygen levels up. The doctor didn’t seem to be too concerned about these two issues, so that’s good. We also asked about possibly trying to lower the amount of Phenobarbital in his system, so the doctor decided to skip tonight’s dose and tomorrow morning’s dose. I hope that will help him keep awake longer tomorrow. Please pray that we’ll continue to make progress with nursing since that is really the only obstacle keeping us from going home at this point. And of course, pray for a complete recovery. I know that God takes care of him when I can’t be with him and He continues to heal him. Thanks again for all of your love and support. I really don’t know what we would do without all of you praying for us. Thank you!

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