What It's Like to Be Him - Part One

I often wonder what it's like for Elijah to live in his body.  The older he gets the more obvious it is to me that he doesn't experience life the same way I do, the same way most of us do.  It's just different to live in his skin.  He sees things differently than I do.  As a result, I'm constantly trying to understand what it's like to be him.

One afternoon, I was trying to teach Elijah how to ride his trike.  He was interested for a short amount of time, but soon he got off the trike, ran to the garage and started to circle our vehicles...over and over and over again. He wasn't interested in riding his trike anymore...or anything else for that matter.

Let's be honest; I was annoyed.  Watching him get stuck on doing one thing that isn't really "play" is disheartening, especially since I was trying to teach him something fun. And then I realized...our vehicles provided some really amazing reflections.  I didn't notice it at first because I wasn't really looking.  I wasn't seeing things the way Elijah saw them.  I saw two cars.  He saw the coolest mirrors ever.

Elijah causes me to look more, to try and see the world through his eyes.  Stepping in his shoes helps me understand why some things are difficult for our little man.

Our boy has a hard time with curbs.  He doesn't really see them.  But open your eyes.  Can you see them?  This is the end of our yard and the beginning of the culdasac in front of our house...Do you see a curb there?...

If I didn't know that there was a curb there, I wouldn't be able to see it.  Now imagine you're a little boy who loves to run and has a visual impairment, would you be able to see that curb?  Even for me (an adult with no visual impairment), it's more a matter of me knowing that the curb is there than actually seeing it.  It looks flat in real life too, not just in this picture.

Sometimes stepping back and picturing what it's like to be Elijah is beneficial.  It makes me open my eyes a little more, it helps me understand the obstacles Elijah faces, and makes me appreciate the things I can see around me.

Speaking of appreciating, did you see my German Irises in the above photo?  I'm madly in love with my flowers around my mailbox. Take a closer look...

The guy at the greenhouse said they smell like grape jelly.  And he was right.  Mmm, grape jelly flowers. Look even closer...now go smell some grape jelly at the same time and you'll have the full experience. :)

We all benefit from opening our eyes a little more and seeing things differently, don't we?

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My Idea of an Excellent Morning

 Watching my cup of chai tea steam...

Drinking cup of chai tea while my two men play outside in their pajamas...again

That's my idea of an excellent morning.

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Eavesdropping

I think it must be humorous listening to me while I play with Elijah outside...

Elijah, slow down.
Elijah, watch out!
Look out, Elijah, there are roots in the ground. Don't trip.
Elijah, TREE!
Hey, Elijah, look at this...
That's a curb, little man. Step.

The truth is, taking Elijah outside can sometimes be stressful.  But, less so than it was last fall.  As he continues to learn his way around our yard, I become less stressed.  This is the reality of parenting a visually-impaired, fast, cute, curious little boy.

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Snow Day

When I was a kid, winter was my favorite season. I loved to make snowmen, walk in the woods after a fresh snowfall, build forts and have snowball fights. As the years passed, however, winter became less enjoyable to me. (I think my enjoyment of the season is directly correlated to how much I needed to drive on snow covered roads).

We got our first real snowfall of the season yesterday and today. Thankfully, all of our appointments came to us instead of the other way around. (So today, I'm liking winter).

Even though we had the day at home, I wasn't sure if I wanted to take Elijah outside. Our thermometer said it was 8 degrees and it was windy. It didn't look fun to me. (What happened to that little girl who loved the winter?)

Just before dark, Andy said he was going to take Elijah out to play in the snow. Andy had "commuted" to the basement for work this morning to avoid a long drive to work, so all he had to do to get home was walk upstairs. I quickly got Elijah bundled up and followed my two men outside with the camera. I wanted to capture Elijah's first time playing in the snow. Even though this is Elijah's third winter, it's the first winter he's been mobile and it feels significant.

I've been excited to see how Elijah would react to snow this year. True to his outdoorsmen nature, snow (or cold) doesn't bother Elijah a bit. In fact, the little man loves the snow.

Andy even had Elijah sledding down our little hill (which honestly amazed me that he was able to stay on the sled and maintain a sitting position. Pretty impressive, if you ask me).

At one point, though, Elijah did fall off of the sled and face planted in the snow. We thought for sure he'd be done with playing outside. He didn't even care much about having the snow in his face. He didn't even cry. He just looked a little annoyed.

Soon, it was time to go inside. And Elijah was not happy. Once inside, a major temper tantrum ensued. In Elijah's opinion it wasn't enough time outside. But, Andy and I were cold. And, I'm still a bit of a paranoid parent. Remember - this is a kid who had temperature regulation issues for quite some time after his birth. I don't think about it much, but the paranoia about him getting too cold lies deep in my soul. Besides, did I mention Andy and I were cold? Elijah must've been too. Especially after his face planting episode.

Eventually, Elijah calmed down and was okay with the fact that it was time to be inside. Which left a couple of things on my to-do list:

1- Buy snow pants for Andy and me.
2-Find that little girl who loves the winter. I know she's in there somewhere and I have a feeling we're going to be outside a lot this winter. Might as well decide to love it, right?

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In Their PJs

One morning this weekend, Elijah sidestepped around his shoes very carefully to get to our back door.

He touched the door, looked down at his shoes, and walked a few feet over to me. He backed up into me like he was going to sit on my lap, but missed and sat on the floor next to me - his feet kicking, his face looking expectantly up at me.

It was clear what he wanted. "Mommy I'd like to go outside please. Could you help me get my shoes on?" he said without moving his lips. I looked down at our pajamas and the temperature gauge which read 30 degrees fehrenheit. What to do?...he'd asked so nicely.

So, Andy grabbed his coat and Elijah's coat and they got all bundled up. They went outside to play while still in their pajamas. I watched from inside making breakfast with a smile on my face thinking that life is good.

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