The night before preschool, Elijah was awake for several hours - the first time he's slept that horribly in months. Not exactly the best start to his first day of school.
So, the first day of preschool... I got Elijah to school early. I dropped off all of his allergy medication. I made sure everyone knew what his food allergies were and how serious they were. I felt comfortable and sad and excited and nervous. Elijah explored the room. He smiled. And then he found me, grabbed my hand, and brought me to the door - his way of asking to leave. I think he was done exploring the room. I made sure they had everything they needed and went on my way, leaving part of myself behind.
I drove home and waited for the time to go pick up our son. I sat in our house - alone - I think for the first time in over three years. I kept glancing at our monitor, expecting to hear something. It was quiet. And I missed him.
I anxiously drove to school to pick up our boy to hear about his day. When I arrived, he was crying. He'd been outside waiting with his classmates for the bus and wasn't happy about having to come back inside. I can understand that...he doesn't like to come back inside when he isn't ready to do so. My heart broke a little; he didn't seem to care that I was there.
Talking over Elijah's cries, they told me his day went well. He'd asked (by bringing them to the door) to leave the classroom multiple times. They were -ahem- lucky enough to see some temper tantrums. His teacher put a stop sign on the door and that seemed to help a little.
They said he'd bumped his head on some playground equipment, which upset me. My worries were realized! Andy called later and talked to his teacher to find out what had happened. Elijah had been closely monitored by a teacher who knows him from early intervention, but he'd lost his footing on the mulch in the playground. He doesn't even have a mark. He's fine. I'm glad that they told us and my mind is at ease. We're considering having Elijah wear his thudguard until he gets more used to the school (his vision is better in familiar surroundings).
We drove home. I took Elijah out of his car-seat and finally he gave me exactly what I'd needed: a short snuggle. I soaked it in and said,
"Mommy missed you this morning Elijah!"
He giggled as if to say that missing him for two and half hours was ridiculous. And everything was all right in the world.
I think he liked school. And I will learn - eventually - to like my time alone too.