Elijah is nine today.* NINE!**
*Apparently I only write blog posts on Elijah's birthday.
**No, I am not shouting no at you in German. Although, I kind of want to. NEIN!
Nine is halfway to adulthood, you guys. We do this one more time and then BAM, Elijah is a full grown man. I'm not ready for halfway to adulthood. And, yet, here we are.
So perhaps it's fitting that his age is no in another language. No, no, no. Nein, nein, nein. Don't grow up just yet. Stay little just a bit longer.
"He's halfway to adulthood," I said to Andy earlier this week and about lost my mind. It's hard to think of adulthood and all that it entails. Applying for guardianship. Elijah's size and him being bigger than me. And there I go, getting ahead of myself.
Perhaps that's what's so hard about Elijah's birthday. It's this place in-between the past and the future. It's the memory of the day we almost lost him. Past. It's the thought of what is to come. Future. This is the day he was hurt and altered. Past. Every year that passes puts him further behind his peers. Future.
Elijah's birthday is a reminder to live in the present. In the today. I don't want to remember the bad times, the NICU, the seizures. I don't want to worry about the future. I want to live in today. A lesson that's valuable and important on every day. Today is what matters. Today we were surrounded by family who love Elijah and his brothers and parents. Today we have a nine-year-old who is alive and well. Who loves life. Who has the most infectious smile. Who isn't defined by his past or his future. He's just Elijah. And he's awesome.
We love you, little (ahem, BIG) dude. Can't wait to see what your next year of living in the present will bring. You, my boy, are a study in living in the present. We could learn a thing or two from you. xoxo, Mom
Oh, hey, God's Word says something about it, too...
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. -Isaiah 43:18
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. -Matthew 6:34