Friday, May 20, 2011

I'm Scared of Children, It's True

Andy and I took Elijah for a walk in the stroller the other night. We'd just finished discussing how Eli is getting too big for his stroller and considered going back to get his wagon when we noticed two little girls up ahead in their yard, watching us persistently.

I have to admit that little kids make me somewhat nervous. It's not that I'm scared of kids, per se, but I get nervous about the questions they might ask. It seemed they were watching Elijah and so I figured they wanted to see the "baby" in the stroller. I started to prepare myself for the questions they would ask about our son. Why doesn't he talk? What's wrong with him? Why do you let him ride in that stroller when he's so big? Why is he drooling? I was getting nervous, thinking about the answers I would have to formulate on the spot. Answers, that I want to be positive and perfect, answers that will help the next generation accept our son.

As we approached, the little girls started walking towards us into the road. I stopped and they stared at us.

"Hi!" I said enthusiastically.

They stared.

"Did you want to say hi?" I asked, thinking they wanted to talk to Elijah, but were being shy as they stood back a few feet with their eyes big and plans in their eyes.

"I'm up to no good," the littler one said and my flight instincts kicked in a bit, ready to protect our son.

"Oh, really?" I stated calmly and they continued to stare some more.

"She's got a taser in her pocket," the older one said and I got even more nervous. What kind of neighborhood do we live in exactly?!

"She got it at the dollar store," she continued and I realized that I didn't need to be scared of little girls - for any reason.

"Well, it's a good thing you warned me then," I said as we walked away.

Oh, kids of the world. You're both amazing and wonderful and terrifying on so many levels. I don't care about your taser, just be nice to my kid and we can be friends, okay?

Monday, May 16, 2011


Elijah likes the bean bin we made for him.
He immerses himself so that he appears to be swimming.
Beans - in the carpet. Beans - in the dryer vent. I find beans just about everywhere.
Yes, I'd say he likes his bean bin indeed.

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